Poem by Afsar: English Version

by Crazyfinger

Among other discoveries I made recently is Afsar's poetry.  I think this is Afsar but if it is not this Afsar, please correct me.  My main reference continues to be this article by Ismail and this is where I found Afsar's name and began digging for more.  Before soon I am drawn to his this Telugu poem, with a somewhat hesitant title: Kondaru Snehitulu...Nanna...Oka Artharaatri (English: A Few Friends...Father...One Midnight). 

Here is my English version.  I was not quite sure if I wanted to retain the title of the original Telugu poem so I picked something else, not thinking too much about it. 

Crossings

Not afraid
No matter how dark it turned
Even when
This path in the wilderness
This bridge through darkness
Is still not familiar
I heaved my body
To pass through it nevertheless

Do you remember?
In some dark evening farm field
Caught in the thicket of trees
How we crossed the night
Singing loud crazy song?

On the face, that was
Forced to turn back
From time to time
On this ever-changing journey,
Lines of so many fears
Shadows of doubts
The fear
When only death in that instant
Seems like a relief
Do you remember?

When,
Right in the middle
Waving a red flag to life
A friend was seen
On that frightening morning
Broken in pieces
On the locomotive tracks
What words did I write to myself?
Not a word came out at that sight

As such
Journeys stopped halfway
Is not new for this life!

On an emaciated night
He, what matters who it was?
Quietly over the beam
Swinging his healthy, ruddy body
Left us, tossing a beam of a final smile
At our faces
Even then whatever did we do?
Other than a weary lifeless speech?

A smile
Cut in the middle
Was still new then!
Even so...
There isn't much to do then!

How small darknesses
Turn into enormous deaths
Can never be understood
How some deaths surround us
Like enormous darkness
Is being realized everyday

Dad,
That deathly moment, when
Telling me to wash for the last time
They all shoved me
In front of your lifeless body,
Showed up in last night's dream
Severed from my sleep I fell
Into a deep darkness

Crying,
I was there just
Till morning
The bridge through darkness
The fearsome farm fields
Empty skies
Everything is you

May I be able to say…
Standing in the unfamiliar darkness
No, I am not afraid?

Comments

[anu]

"How small darknesses
Turn into enormous deaths
Can never be understood
How some deaths surround us
Like enormous darkness"

don't know how this reads in telugu, here i keep reading this verse again and again and find death and darkness merging, stunning!

and this:

"Singing loud crazy song?"

should it be 'songs' or 'a' loud ?

CF, thanks for this effort and providing the links to the poet's brief, this made me think of friends and relatives who brought me to realize that death happens to those we love too.