Pit Bucket Blues

by Crazyfinger

A friend of mine alerted me to this new poem by Afsar, asking if I wanted to give it a shot translating it during this weekend. Here it is. The original is "Naalugu Metukulu" posted here.

Pit Bucket Blues

Will the sunlight blazing outside

Know of the darkness inside!

The voice 

Strolls into stillness for a breather

For a while, to come up for air

-2-

In between the tangled embrace of the trees

A white streak, opening slightly

Leads into somewhere

Its signs in my ears  

Ever a dulcet music 

-3-

In between the huddled houses, 

Intertwined thicker than the woods

A narrow alley 

Sparkles like a moonshine

The roar of its silence

A storm that hasn't spoken

-4-

You and I

One moment the screams of two ripples

Then in another moment,

Dreams snuggled

Under the covers of sleep

-5-

As such the petitions were always losing!

Anyway haven't got in hands 

The rope bucket  

To bail up the deeper voices

-6-

Be it a word that lay severed

Or a cry that lay fallen

Don't make the final cut on any of it!

-7-

Save these few morsels

For the empty stomach

Of that troubled pit

That arrives from far away

Comments

[sphujidhwaja]

Wow! Very well done. Excellent choice for the title. Interesting that you used "petition" for baashyam. I am not sure if "white streak signing in the ears(?)" makes sense to those who did not read the original though.

[Crazyfinger]

sphujidhwaja,

Thanks! I was afraid you or someone would catch that "white streak" inconsistency. Let me sound this by you then (be my sounding board): "tella chaara," and "daani bhaasha"...how would you connect them?

I thought about "petition" quite a bit. In "Bhaashyaalu eppudoo OdipotoonE unnaayilE" bhaasyaalu can be arguments, debates or speeches. It doesn't have to take a "pro" position always, but seeing "eppudoo odipotoone..." that follows gives it a feeling that it is something that always fell on deaf ears. The overall tone is of someone who is suffering. The word "petition" came to me immediately as a "Lord's petition" not so much as an earthly / legal / provincial petition. So I stuck with it. What do you think?

Regards
Crazyfinger